28 February 2017

Happy Birthday Little One

Today is my baby's birthday, he will be 1 year old today. In these hours, one year ago I was at the hospital giving birth to him, a moment of fear, pain and happiness. Today I am happy that he's been with us for a full year, learning to love him, teaching him and not sleeping very much! But sadly one year ago my mum was with me in the moment of birth and I never thought that she wouldn't be with me when he will turn one year. So I am not sure if I am happy that my little one is turning one or sad that my mum had missed it, because today will be too the anniversary of her death, 8 months...
She was so happy to be with me in the moments of birth that she decided to stop the chemotherapy to come and stay with us for two weeks instead of trying to continue the treatment. That two weeks were her happiest weeks with me, she was lucky that I broke waters at the end of the first week, so she spend one week with me and the other with me and my baby. In this 8 months without her I had so many questions that only she could answer... so many things that I would never asked to anyone instead of her... She would be so happy that he is starting talking and that doesn't want to stop any minute... she would ask if he's eating good, that I have to have patience... so many advices to ask and don't have the person to ask for it...
But in the other hand she wouldn't want me sad or crying, she would say that I did know that she would die in a moment or other and that I couldn't be sad all day, that life continues, and that I should remember all the good moments we shared together and just smile and be happy that I have someone that loves me very much and a little man that will love me too.
So, happy birthday little one, from your mum and your grandmother too!

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